Who Shot the Captain?
by LyekkaBlack
Summary: Dylan's found dead, and there's only five possible suspects. Who did it? Was it Beka? Harper? Maybe Trance? Could it be Tyr? How 'bout Rommie? They all had a motive...


Title: Who Shot the Captain?  
Author: lyekkablack  
Genres: Murder Mystery/Humor  
Warnings: Dylan bashing. Character death.  
Summery: Dylan's found dead, and there's only five possible suspects. Who did it? Was it Beka? Harper? Maybe Trance (gold)? Could it be Tyr? How 'bout Rommie? They all had a motive...  
A/N: It's kinda short and pointless, but was so fun to write.  
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It was a normal night abroad the starship Andromeda, and all was quiet while the crew merrily slumbered.

Until...

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH," a woman's scream echoed through the corridors, waking the sleeping crew.

"Crew to Command," Andromeda's voice followed, giving the ship-wide announcement.

Reluctantly Beka, Harper, Trance and Tyr pulled themselves from their warm comfortable beds and slowly trudged to Command.

Beka arrived minutes later, having run most of the way. "This better be good," she stated annoyed, seeing Rommie across the room.

The android had arrived first, only to make a gruesome discovery. She was too focused on whatever she was looking at to pay any attention to the first officer.

"Rommie?" Beka moved down the ramp towards Rommie. "Hello?" she stopped suddenly and gasped on seeing what had the avatars attention.

Just then, the Command doors swished open and Tyr strode in, quickly followed by Trance and Harper. They apparently had been in no rush the get there.

"Ship," Tyr called. "I gather there's a reason we've all been summoned here in the middle of the night."

"Yeah," Harper agreed. "We- I mean, uh, I was having the best dream."

"Spare us the details, boy."

"Oh, you're just mad 'cause-"

Harper's retort was cut off by Trance's horrified gasp, when she moved down next Beka and Rommie.

Curious at what the three women were looking at, Harper and Tyr made their way across the room too.

There lying on the deck, in a pool of blood was Captain Dylan Hunt.

"Is he dead?" Harper asked, a little more harshly then he meant to.

Rommie nodded. "For nearly ten minutes."

"Did he say anything?" Tyr asked and crouched down to inspect the body.

"He was already dead when I got here," Rommie informed nonchalantly.

"How did this happen?" Beka finally spoke.

"How should I know?" Rommie snapped.

"He's been shot," Tyr stated, and pointed between the wound oozing blood from Dylan's chest and the forcelance lying a short distance from his body.

Beka rolled her eye's. "No kidding, Sherlock," she turned to the viewscreen. "Andromeda, what happened? Who did this?"

"I don't know," the AI said from the viewscreen.

Her hologram appeared. "Someone has tampered with my on-board sensors," she said and flickered out.

Everyone looked at Harper.

"Hey, don't look at me," Harper said defensively. "Blinding the ships sensors isn't all the hard. I'm sure even Trance here could do it."

Trance looked offended. "Hey!"

"Besides," Harper continued. "Why would I wanna shoot Dylan?"

"You tell me, Harper" Rommie approached her engineer. "Weren't you and Dylan having an argument earlier?"

"We had a small, tinny tiny disagreement," Harper admitted. "So?"

"Harper," Beka went to his side. "What was the argument about?"

"I don't remember," Harper replied, and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Did it have anything to do with Dylan not giving you time off to compete in that surfing tournament?"

Harper hesitated. "Maybe."

"Harper!"

"Come on Beka, he was being a total ass about it. It's not like I haven't earned time off, and the competition's only held when Yad Neered's moons are aligned. Which by the way, is only once every seventy years. Dylan was being unreasonable."

"So you killed him?" Tyr asked, and nodded in approval.

"I didn't shoot him," Harper stressed.

Rommie wasn't persuaded. "You did have a motive."

"Oh, and I'm the only one who had a grudge against Captain Corpse, am I?" he looked around the room accusingly.

Beka stepped forward. "Meaning?"

"Well, Beka, with Dylan dead I guess that leaves you captain of your very own shiny High Guard Warship, don't it?"

"What are you implying?" Beka asked, not liking his tone. "That I murdered Dylan for his position?"

"Did you?" Rommie asked, now suspecting the XO.

"Get over yourself, Rommie," Beka scuffed. "I've already got my own ship, remember?"

"Compared to me, calling the Eureka Maru a ship is like putting sprinkles on a pile of Futrenid Beast droppings and calling it a cake."

"Um, thanks for the visual Rom-doll," Harper said disgusted.

Beka was fuming. "How dare you insult my ship," she yelled. "You sound just like Dylan. Look where that got him," she pointed to the bloody mess.

"Is that a confession?" Rommie asked, satisfied that the mystery had been solved so quickly.

"No," Beka replied more calmly. "I'm just saying that maybe Dylan's superior attitude towards people is what got him killed."

"Really?" Rommie asked amused. "Are you threatening me?"

"I'm not threatening you," Beka answered exasperated.

"If you two are done bickering," Tyr stepped between Beka and Rommie. "I believe the girl discovered a useful clue."

Everyone turned to look at Trance, who was inspecting Dylan's body.

"He's been choked too," she informed.

"What?" Rommie asked, moving back to the body.

"See?" Trance pointed out a thick red rope burn across the good captains throat.

Rommie noticed several diamond shape patterned bruises above the burn. "What are those?"

"They look like-"

"Ship, what was Captain Hunt doing before you're sensors malfunctioned?" Tyr asked casually.

"My sensors did not malfunction they were tampered with."

"Was that my question?"

Holo-Rommie reappeared, "I last show Dylan in Hydroponics."

"As I thought."

"You wanna share with the rest of the class?" Harper asked confused.

"He was strangled with the net from his own basketball hoop."

Everyone looked at Harper when he failed to suppress a laugh.

"Oh, now that's just terrible," Harper said, failing to keep the sarcasm out of his voice.

"So what if he was chocked?" Beka asked, ignoring the engineer. "It's not what killed him. He was obviously shoot."

"And with is own weapon too," Trance said and held up the forcelance to inspect it.

"So someone strangled Dylan, then shot him?" Harper checked.

"Look!" Trance exclaimed and turned over Dylan's hands to reveal burnt fingers. "It looks like he was electrocuted too," she looked at Rommie.

"You're not suggesting that I would electrocute my captain, are you, Trance?"

"I think she is," the AI on the viewscreen said.

Holo-Rommie nodded in agreement. "That's what it sounded like to me."

All three glared at Trance menacingly.

"Hold up," Harper put himself in front of Trance. "She didn't accuse anyone. She only said that he got electrocuted. Feelin' guilty or somethin' Rom-doll?"

"I can't seriously be a suspect," the android huffed. "I couldn't kill Dylan."

Beka looked confused. "And why not?"

"It's against regulations," the avatar simply stated.

"A convenient excuse," Harper mumbled not so quietly.

"Yeah," Beka agreed. "You were the first one in here. Who's to say you weren't here all along?"

"Let's assume that's true," Rommie replied. "What would my motive be?"

Nobody answered right away.

"See?" Rommie smiled smugly. "No motives."

"Wait," Trance remember something. "You told me the other day that you were angry with Dylan's bigotry towards AI's."

"Trance, if I killed every person who has the false notion that organic is better-"

"We're not talkin' about every person," Harper cut her off. "Just Dylan. I know I'd be royally pissed if I found out my captain, my friend harbored such an insensitive and unfair opinion of me and my people. Actually," Harper thought about it. "He probably did. Git!"

"Well, I'm not you."

"We should get the body to Medical so I can examine it better," Trance announced.

"Why you?" Rommie asked suspicious. "You're a suspect too."

"Me?" Trance asked innocently. "But, I didn't do anything."

"You never do," Rommie replied sardonically.

"Leave her alone, she didn't so it," Harper told the android. "She couldn't have."

"You know this, how?" Beka asked.

"The same way I know Harper didn't do it," Trance answered.

"Which is?" Tyr chimed in, already bored with the situation.

"Harper was in his quarters all night," Trance responded. "With me."

Bake wasn't sure she heard correctly. "Do what now?"

"It's not what you think," Harper spoke up before Beka got violent with him. "It was innocent, I swear."

"Then what was she doing in your room all night, Harper," Rommie asked skeptically.

"Um.."

"I was reading to him," Trance simply answered. "It helps him sleep."

"Reading?" Beka laughed. "What were you reading then?"

"Tonight is was, How to Make Love to a Woman by Michael Morgenstern."

"TRANCE!" Harper yelled embarrassed. "You weren't supposed to tell."

"Would you rather have them think you or I killed Dylan?"

"Yeah, kinda," he said seeing the smirks on Beka and Rommie's faces.

Just then two bots entered Command and quickly lifted the ex-captains body onto a gurney. Beka, Harper, Trance, Rommie and Tyr followed them out of Command and down to the Med Bay where Trance was able to the give the body a thorough examination.

--------------------------

A few hours later.

Trance called everyone to gather in Medical.

"Well?" Rommie encouraged. "Who killed him?"

"It's not a question of who," Trance said mystically.

"So," Beka started. "What killed him then?"

"Well, first I assumed that it was the shot the the chest that killed him," Trance stated. "But once I examined him better I determined that it wasn't. The wound looked worse then what it was. He may have eventually bleed to death because of it, but he never got that chance.

Tyr leaned against the door. "How unfortunate."

"I also found a small puncture wound on the back of his neck," Trance continued. "I tested his blood and found traces of a narcotic, Halselxaphenine. More commonly known as 'Tipsy-Time'. Basically, it's a quick and easy way of getting all the effects of drunkenness. A small does and you become so disoriented you hardly know whats going on around you."

"I imagine that would leave a person open to suggestion, would it not?" Tyr asked and shot Harper a glance.

"It would," Trance confirmed.

"How is any of the relevant?" Beka asked annoyed. "Did the drug kill him?"

"No," Trance answered impatiently.

Beka sighed. "Then what did?"

"I believe I have the answer to that," Tyr announced to the now very silent room. "The answer to the first riddle was simple enough to figure out," he paced the around room for dramatic effect. "What purpose would someone have to drug the good captain? Unless," he continued before they started naming things. "That person wanted him to be more agreeable to a certain request," he looked at Harper. "Like time off for a surfing tournament."

Everyone looked at Harper.

"With Captain Hunt in an intoxicated state, the Little Professor could have easily persuaded him to approve the time off he wanted."

"And I would have," Harper grumbled. "I had it all worked out. I had already injected him, I just had to wait for the drug to take effect. But then Trance showed up in my quarters before I got a chance to talk to Dylan. I was going to sneak out after she left, but she didn't leave. In fact, I got the impression she knew what I was up to, and wouldn't leave."

"I was just really tired and fell asleep after you did," Trance said innocently.

"But, Trance, you hardly ever sleep," Rommie pointed out.

"Shall we continue discussing the odd sleeping habits of this crew?" Tyr interjected before Trance could reply. "Or would you like to find out what happened to the captain?"

"Harper just admitted that he drugged him," Beka spoke.

"Yes, that does explain the drug," Tyr stood in front of the XO, who now seemed rather nervous. "But we haven't gotten to the part where you strangled Dylan."

"How dare you accuse me," Beka gasped. "I did no such thing!"

"Is that so?" he grabbed her hands and turned them over. "So these," he forced her hands up so the room could now see that they were covered in red burns, similar to the ones on Dylan's neck. "Were not caused by the net used to choke our dear captain?"

She pulled her hands free. "Alright, fine, I did it."

Everyone gasped.

"Oh shut up," Beka snapped. "This isn't some courtroom drama."

Tyr nodded in agreement. "You were saying?"

"I found out that he had insulted the Maru the other day, and I went to confront him about it," Beka sighed, then continued. "I would think he'd be a little more grateful considering he'd still be stuck in a black hole if it weren't for my ship. I went to demand that he start showing a little respect.

Rommie scoffed.

"Anyway," Beka went on, ignoring the android. "I found him in Hydroponics, playing around with a basketball. He didn't even look up when I marched in, and said my piece. I waited for him to say something, to apologize. He didn't. Hell, I don't think he had even heard a damn word I said. He just kept playing with that stupid ball."

Now Beka was pacing the room.

"And maybe I got a bit carried away, but I was angry. I pulled the net down, just hoping to get a reaction. I got nothing. It's like he didn't even know I was there. Keep in mind, I didn't realize he had been drugged at the time, I just thought he was been jerk. So yeah, I choked him. But only to send a message, not kill him. He was alive when I left and returned to my quarters."

"Note to self, don't ignore Beka, ever," Harper noted aloud and grinned when he saw her glaring at him.

"Well, that explains the drug and the rope burns," Trance considered. "What about the other stuff?"

Tyr stepped forward again. "I've figured those out too," he stated proudly. "Sometime after the incident with Captain Valentine, Dylan made his way onto the Command Deck."

"Dur, Nancy Drew, that's where we found him," Harper said sarcastically.

Tyr growled at the engineer. "Actually, perhaps it would be better if the ship were to tell us what happened next."

Holo-Rommie appeared. "I already told you my sensors weren't functioning at the time."

"Yes, but unless I'm wrong, you record at all times on the Command Deck, correct?"

"True," the AI agreed from the viewscreen.

"Then show us the video," Tyr ordered.

"Don't order me, us around," Rommie said annoyed. "You're not my captain."

"No, but with Dylan dead, I am," Beka spoke. "And I want to see that footage."

"Yes, Captain," the AI finally acknowledged.

Her image was replaced on the viewscreen. It showed Dylan entering Command, and stumbling his way to a workstation for support.

"Dylan," the AI acknowledged.

He didn't respond.

Andromeda's hologram persona appeared in front of him. "Dylan, my avatar would like to speak with you. Shall I inform her of your location?"

He continued to ignore her.

"Captain Hunt," the AI said again. "We have an important issue we'd like to discuss with you."

She waited a moment for him to respond. He didn't.

"Dylan, your recent attitude towards AI's has been, to say the least, upsetting," the hologram spoke. "We need to talk."

"Dylan," the AI called.

"Captain," the hologram tried.

Still nothing.

"Fine," the hologram said angrily and blinked out.

Just then the console he was leaning on sparked and electrical charges were sent to Dylan's hands. Surprised, he jumped back and lost his balance. His arms swinging about madly for support, he grabbed at the first thing he felt, his forcelance. Unfortunately for him, the weapon wasn't attached to anything and he fell forward awkwardly, and accidentally pressed the trigger as his body made contact with the deck. The shot ricochet of the bulkhead and hit the captain in the chest.

The video stopped and the AI appeared again.

Beka looked stunned. "Rommie!"

"I didn't know he would react the way he did," the android defended. "It was only supposed to be a small shock."

"Well, he seemed pretty shocked when that shot hit him," Harper smirked.

"Harper, be nice," Trance told him playfully.

"So, basically Dylan shot himself," Beka spoke, relieved. "That solves that."

"Well, there was one more thing," Trance said as she grabbed a pair of tongs and held up a small white orb. "I found this lodged in his throat,"

"What is it?" Harper asked.

"It's a piece of candy."

"Candy?"

"Yeah, I picked some up on Eleanor Drift last week."

"So what was Dylan doing with it?" Harper asked, upset that Trance had been withholding sugary sweets from him.

"Eating it, obviously," Rommie answered sarcastically.

"Then obviously he did it wrong," Harper replied with smirk.

"I gave Dylan a few pieces yesterday," Trance answered Harper's question. "He was developing a cough, and I thought the candies would help sooth a sore throat, if one accrued. I guess being strangled doesn't feel too good, so he ate one."

"So Trance," Rommie interrupted. "In your somewhat professional opinion, the cause of death would be?"

"Asphyxiation."

"Are you saying that the almighty Dylan Hunt was finally taken down by an innocuous sugary treat?" Tyr asked amused.

"Yes."

Tyr thought for a moment. "Ship," he called. "Next time we're near Eleanor Drift order twelve crates of this candy."

"Aye."

"And what are you going to do with it all?" Beka asked curious.

"Send it to my enemies, of course" Tyr stated simply.

Harper laughed. "You're gonna need way more then twelve crates then."

Tyr considered it. "Make it fifty crates," he agreed. "To start with," he added.

"Aye."

"Okay, mystery solved," Beka announced. "Now, we should all get some sleep. We have a busy day tomorrow."

"Why, what are we doin'?" Harper asked.

"Well, were going to have to explain Dylan's death to all the signatory worlds," Beka explained. "And you're going to have to get all your work done, if you're going to make it to that surfing competition."

"I can go?" Harper asked excitedly. "Really?"

"Really," Beka confirmed.

Harper squealed and pulled Beka into a tight hug. "Thank you, boss. Thankyouthankyouthankyou."

"You're welcome," she patted the top of his head. "Now, to bed."

"Yes ma'am," Harper saluted and headed for the door. "Wait a minute," he turned back around. "So the only person who didn't have a part in Dyan's death was Tyr?"

Tyr shrugged. "I was busy," he said casually. "Though the experience has improved my chances of survival."

"How so?" Rommie asked curious.

"I've learned from Captain Hunts mistakes," Tyr told them. "I know to never insult Captain Valentin's precious ship. To never underestimate the boy's passion for riding a little board above water, however foolish. To respect the artificial intelligences that my life often depends on. And most importantly, to never except candy from a golden pixie."

"Hey," Trance pouted. "The package said _'Safe for ages 4+'_ it's not my fault."

"It's okay, Trance," Beka reassured.

"One thing I don't get," Harper said. "Who screamed?"

"What?" Beka asked.

"Right before Rommie called us to Command, I got woken up by someone screaming."

"I heard it too," Trance agreed

"Yeah," Beka remembered.

"You mean this?" the AI asked from the viewscreen, and played an audio clip of a woman screaming.

"Yeah, what the hell was that?" Harper asked annoyed.

"Sorry," the AI spoke from the screen. "I thought it was an appropriate wake up, given the circumstances."

Harper was about to reply, but remembered what she did to Dylan and thought better of it.

"Didn't I order everyone off to bed?" Beka asked.

"Going," Harper said form the door.

"Me too," Trance followed.

"In separate rooms," Beka called after them. "Don't think I wont check."

"Captain," Tyr nodded in respect before leaving.

Beka helped Rommie put Dylan's body into storage and returned to her quarters.

"Yep," she said to herself, crawling into bed. "All's well that ends well."

The End

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Okay, now that that's out of my system, I'm off to work on Nerves. Reviews are appreciated. :)


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